Tonight, I sat waffling at my friend's counter at her lovely home in Washington.

No, I wasn't eating a delicious Belgian breakfast food.

I was waffling, as in the verb "failing to make up one's mind."

I had a quote sitting in my inbox for a book designer who would design my book cover, layout all my book chapters and pages, and help me finalize my writing from a (now professionally edited) Google doc to a real life book.

That quote's been sitting there for 2 weeks.

I want my book so bad.

But I've been trying to justify spending more money with no guaranteed ROI.

"Books don't really make money," I keep saying to anyone who will listen.

My friend cut through the bullshit with a question.

"If this book never made back its financial investment but it changed people's lives, would you still publish it?"

My answer was swift and surprising to me, "Of course!"

Then I closed my eyes and imagined.

Just like while I was writing the book, I leaned back in my chair and thought of all of you.

I imagined of you - and every other "limited screen-curious" parent out there who picks up Look Up!.

I pictured you reading it and afterward feeling inspired or less alone or more capable or super excited for your next family trip.

I don't know a lot of things...

I don't know what the book cover will look like.

I don't know how best to market and self-publish a book.

I don't know if I'll ever make back my financial investment in Look Up!.

But I know this...

I wrote this book because parenting has both wrecked and remade me. Because limiting screens in our family has freed us both. Because writing this book is part of my life's gift.

We are all given unique gifts.

You have a gift that is all yours.

Mine isn't writing, though people often think it is

I'm actually just an okay writer. But I'm a damn good story-teller (especially in person), and here's why:

My gift is being unfiltered.

My gift is saying out loud what others only say in shame or bury with silence.

My gift is living as free as I can in order to invite you to your own freedom.

My gift is to share uncomfortable stories from my life in order to make room for "me too" and "I'm glad it wasn't just me" and "It's normal? I thought something was wrong."

My gift is never agreeing to the comfy conversation that keeps us small when the big conversation that shreds bullshit is available.

My gift is metaphorically opening the door to my home, welcoming you into my precious and private oasis, showing you what it looks like when it's not cleaned for company, and having the audacity NOT to say, "Oh it's such a mess."

Life IS a mess.

A beautiful, complex, perfectly imperfect mess.

May we have friend's counters to sit at when we're lost.

May they speak the truth we need to hear.

May we share our gifts with the world.

May we take risks that have no guarantee of paying off.

May we remember ROI is not just measured in money.

I don't know much, but I know this: I am SO excited for my book to be in the world with us.

Jenna Lee “you ARE the gift" Dillon​

P.S. So YEAH I emailed and accepted the invoice! It's time to get Look Up! into the world! If you haven't signed up yet for the Early Bird VIP list, you're missing out on the early bird discount, opportunities to win a free copy of the book, and other prizes!

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