The 15-minute timer went off.

I haven't been so scared to count the lines on a test since I was in my 20s.

There were two lines. The test was positive.

I have COVID.

Nobody wants to get COVID - at least I assume nobody wants to feel like crap and have to stay away from the people they love.

As a single, self-employed mama, there's never a convenient time to quarantine with my daughter at home.

But this time? Two days into my Christmas visit to see family in Phoenix is definitely not convenient or ideal.

First, there's the gripping terror that I infected my grandparents. They're in their 80s and have nearly every health condition that would make COVID a potentially deadly event for them.

At this point, it's a waiting game to see if I gave it to them, and I am compartmentalizing like a mo-fo to keep my mind from hitting the panic button every few seconds on that front.

Right.

Compartmentalizing re-engaged.

Second, there's the reality of quarantining with my daughter...without our home.

If we were home, quarantining would be fairly easy.

We'd hit the backyard if weather permitted. Our art closet practically rivals a Michaels store; she's got toys and books for days, plus an indoor gymnastics set up. Within the walls of our home and backyard, we could quarantine for weeks without a case of the I'm boreds.

Here? We are in an (albeit attractively decorated) two-bedroom AirBNB. It's been torrentially down-pouring outside for most of the day. We can't leave (because where would we go?), and we can't see any of our friends and family.

Our options for entertainment are as follows:

One coloring kit featuring a wooden cutout and markers

One small workbook, nearly finished

A baby doll

A felt Christmas tree with little ornaments my aunt dropped off earlier

You get the picture, right?

Sick mama. Nearly-six-year-old with boundless energy.

All the anticipation of what should have been a fun-and-family-packed week boiled down to the two of us staring at one another across the duvet cover.

Today could have SUCKED.

Today probably should have sucked.

It had all the ingredients to cook up a fine suck-soup.

But it didn't.

Thankfully.

My girl has spent her entire life being exposed to situations in which she wasn't entertained.

She has practiced waiting.

She has experienced not being the center of attention.

She is well versed in connecting with other humans and enjoying conversation.

She understands that the adults around her have limits. She may not like that I was prone most of the day, but she doesn't have the unrealistic expectation that I am an unlimited resource.

Because I have not appointed myself her Chief Entertainment Officer, there was no backlash today when I contributed almost nothing to her entertainment today.

She asked to watch TV, and we did for a bit.

(Because being Screen Freed is flexible like that.)

We managed a short walk in between downpours. She asked for more TV. I said no. She moved on.

She colored, she danced around, she talked to me. She arranged the flowers we picked on our walk and she somehow managed to go through three pairs of socks and string all of them across the condo.

We kind of did...nothing for most of the day.

What a relief it is to be able to have an off-day as a parent.

What a joy it is to feel confident about my daughter's ability to entertain herself with relatively few inputs. To know her curious mind and the deep well of her imagination are all the company she needs to feel happy.

This is who our children are when they are born.

They are entertained by everything and nothing.

They are naturally fascinated, interested, and present.

They come into this world with the tools to satisfy themselves.

We live in a "more is better" society. Ultimately, we teach our children to be dissatisfied with simple.

In doing so, we make it harder on ourselves.

So in this holiday season and in the time that follows, can we practice giving our children space to figure it out?

Space to just be. Space to feel the sensation of boredom, and even more space to find out what they choose to do about it.

That way, on the days when we have less to give, our children are fine. Because they have the confidence of knowing what they're capable of giving to themselves.

If you need help with this, I've got tools coming your way. In the meantime, one of my favorite parenting books, Bringing Up Bebe, has a great section about "The Pause." It's been gold in my parenting journey.

Jenna Lee "ain't nobody's Chief Entertainment Officer" Dillon

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